Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Cor. 15:58


Saturday, November 12, 2011

day 146: Titus 2 (Oh My)

Titus 2:4-5

These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands.  Then they will not bring shame to the word of God.


Ok.... let's just talk about this verse for a minute because it keeps haunting me.  There are reasons (we will get into that later) it keeps coming back up in my mind, but we need to talk about it together I think.  I'd LOVE to hear your comments on this because I definitely don't have the answers on this one.  I can talk until I'm blue in the face about other verses... this one I know what I 'should' say and what I 'want' to say, but I'm afraid I'd be a big hyprocrit if I did.

So..... here goes.

If you've read this blog long enough, you know that I'm a working Mama.  I teach special education preschool.  I love my job, but I never NEVER thought I'd work after I had kids... EVER!  When I was in college, I used to laugh that my Daddy was spending all of this money on my education, then I'd get married, have a baby, stay home, and never use it again. I had it all planned out.  My mother (a Stay at Home Mom herself) told me, "Uh.... Kelly, it doesn't alway work out like that."


Cut to a few years later, I was pregnant with my first baby.  *I* didn't want to keep working.  The husband wanted me too.  There were lots (and lots and lots and lots and LOTS) of fights, tears, anxiety about it all. 

Then, I ended up getting a new job (because my old one was cut) and I had to go back to college while working... with a 5 week old. 

That was a big step for someone who never wanted to even work when she had kids.

I was in a pretty bad state, though I'm not entirely sure anyone really noticed it (not their fault.. I didn't want them too).  I think I cried more than I smiled and every day when I left my not even two month old at my mama's, it felt like I was leaving my heart (Ok, so I *might* not be completely over it yet...)

I know that it was for the best that I did it, and it's good (especially in this economy) for me to have a job.  My husband works in a factory and you know how fickle that can be. 

I will be honest and tell you that every time I read this verse (even now), my heart hurts a bit.  

Do I think women can work?  Absolutely.  I do it every day.

Do I think a woman SHOULD HAVE to work?  I'm not entirely sure on that part.  It would be nice if we lived in the old times when we had family farms and no one really had to go to the city to work... although then, we wouldn't have air conditioning and that would absolutely stink.

Then we get to the dangerous part of "submitting" to your husband when you make as much or more income than he does..... or if you go to work every day  just like he does... OR if you do the housework (mostly... he does help) on top of everything else.  It can cause resentment. 

Am I talking about anyone else, or is it just me?

Sometimes I think it would have been easier if I could have stayed home with my girls. It will always be something that I will regret that I couldn't do.  But now that they are older, I get to see them at school.  My middle daughter is even in my class :).  I know that my mother loves keeping them (mostly lol), so it's been good for her too.

But still, this verse keeps coming back to bite me.

I'm not big on the "don't tell me I can do something because I'm a girl." kind of thing. 

So basically, today's devotional is a big ole "I don't know" lol.  I know what it means, but I also know that I can't do it.  I can do my best.  I can try.  I know my  husband would love the 'submission/respect" part lol.  

I wish I had something better for you.  Just know that if you are like me you read a LOT of Christian blogs and most of those blogs are written by sahms.... and that's great :)  It can hurt sometimes though, especially if its something you always wanted.  Just know that IF you are a working mama, you aren't alone.  I'm right there with you... doing the best I can and praying it is enough :) 

I'd love to hear your thought on this.  It's something that I think about a lot. 

I'm not going to even get into the 'submission' part of because... well.... I'm not going to tell you how to do something that I'm not great at myself lol... sigh... I need work ;)

Anyway, Happy Saturday!  Have a great day and whatever you do today, enjoy it :)

God Bless You :)


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