Proverbs 15:1-- A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
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Yesterday, we talked about anger. Today, we will talk about ways to deflect anger.
Have you ever tried to fight with a person who would NOT yell back?
In a word, it's annoying!
If you are in an argument with someone who won't raise their temper back, it's not only frustrating, but it makes you more likely to STOP fighting.
I speak from experience *whistles not so innocently*
When my husband and I first got married, we did what any newly married couple did... we had arguments. And like lots of married couples, we didn't know 'how' to fight besides yelling. Well..... ok, that's a lie. *I* yelled. He would walk off and 'cool down' (which drove me nuts because *I* wanted to confrontation... *I* wanted to get my anger out.) HE was actually doing the right thing (not that I saw it at the time) by not raising his voice (which I'm sure he'd LOVE to at times... and did some). But the times he DIDN'T raise his voice, the argument didn't last as long.
I've learned over the years that if I want to 'win' a fight, I have to control my desire to yell. I have to be rational and I have to listen/get my point across calmly...
DO you know how hard that is? Of course you do! That's why we need to pray for a gentle spirit... for soft words in a fight... and that does NOT mean to let someone run all over you. Far from it. When you talk gently, you get everything out in a calm way. You remember more of what you WANT to say and can have a clear argument.
Now, anger is natural. We all get angry. It's not healthy to hold it in. Some ways to do that are:
*exercise
*write in a journal
*use a stressball
*meditate
*light a soothing candle
*go for a walk
*count backwards
*take a few deep breaths
Those are just a few. You have to get anger out before it turns to hate (which we talked about yesterday), but you need to get it out in the right way (yeap, I'm still working on this one....)
In summary, when we disagree with someone be it our spouse, co-worker, neighbor, etc., try to use gentle words. Harsh words will just make it worse-- and if you are like me you will just feel bad about it later.
God Bless You!!!
Kelly
